drugsathome

Rambling Thoughts

2006-06-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Well, the book has been out about two months. My biggest prayer is that it is ministering to others and carrying to them a message of hope and healing. I am encouraged that it has, on more than one occasion, opened the door to open conversations of sharing. I guess transparency begets transparency...

I am also encouraged to hear people comment that once they picked it up they didn't want to put it down.

One friend wants a sequel. But my husband isn't so sure about more of our lives being opened to such scrutiny...we'll see.

In the meantime, the opportunity to share continues to occur across radio and tv.

I thank God for the gift of words, and the doors that have opened.

Courageous

2006-06-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

It is interesting to me that more than one person now has commented to me that they think that I have been courageous to write this book.

It isn't a word that I would use, I guess I just felt really called to write this book in an open and honest way to reach out to others. But I know what they are referring to; the honesty and transparency with which I share some very personal and intimate struggles that I went through; that our family went through. But I wrote what I needed to read, and in doing so hope I have extended a hand of comfort to others.

What's been going on...

2006-06-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

The past month has just flown by and been a flurry of activity; lots of radio interviews and even two on tv. One our local cable news, and one a CBS local affiliate in Harrisburg. It has been very gratifying to share the message of hope and healing with others.

The hosts have asked great questions; and some have even been touched personally by some of the issues I talk about.

The response from people who have read the book has also been positive and uplifting. And for that I am grateful; the purpose is to share the hope and healing with others.

But it's only marijuana...

2006-05-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

I know this question will come up a lot. "But it's only marijuana, what's the big deal."

It came up again today when I was interviewed on WMUZ radio, 103.5 FM, Detroit, and it came up the other day too.

With so many other harder drugs out there, what's the big deal with a little weed?

Well, how about it's illegal for starters. Then there's the whole gateway drug discussion. Very few users start with the hard stuff; sure there are some that may, but generally speaking it is marijuana or alcohol first, then on it goes from there. It is unusual to meet a crackhead who didn't start with booze or pot first.

And yes, it is addictive, and almost 300,000 people enter drug treatment each year for marijuana use.

It kills motivation, wrecks relationships and wreaks havoc with job and school performance.

So its not heroin or cocaine, but it is BAD ENOUGH!

Satellite Radio

2006-05-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

On Friday I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Scott and Lorri Show on Sirius Satellite radio station 159, Family Net Radio. It was a lively conversation, and they are a delight to chat with.

Several other radio opportunities are coming up, and will be posted on the web site shortly.

Some thoughts

2006-05-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

First, my goal through the writing of this book is to spread a message of hope and healing to others hurting from how substance abuse is affecting their teen, or the teen of someone else.

I made mistakes, my son made choices. An individual commented on one of my posts, "drug problem is not a pseudonym for bad parenting." I don't think it is a synonym, either. Again, I reiterate that I did the best I could at the time with the knowledge that I had.

But if you are in the middle of this don't you feel lonely? I did. Don't you want hope? I did. Don't you want answers? I did.

I don't have the answers, but I do have some reflections which are aimed at giving hope and helping families to not feel quite so alone. That is what I hope to accomplish by sharing our journey.

It is a bit scary, even for people like me, who tend to talk a lot and wear their heart on their sleeve to be so open about such an intensely personal and private hurt. It is not easy to make oneself so vulnerable, but the motivation is to provide support to others who are hurting, and may not feel like they know where to turn. I'm not kidding when I comment that I wrote the book I needed to read. I needed to read about one family fighting hard and succeeding. And no, fighting hard does not equal success, because ther are families who do fight hard, and don't succeed.

I don't think the problems is going away any time soon.

I was at a Girl Scout event yesterday, and talked with a friend who commented that her teenage son's girlfriend's parents (you may need to read that again...) approached her about allowing him to sleep over at their home afterthe kids went to the movies nbecuase it was what their daughter wanted. My friend commented, in shock, I might add, "and are you ok with that?" The answer was, "Well, no,not really, but we are afraid to tell her." That's ineffective (bad?) parenting, in my opinion.

Another parent commented, "Oh boys will be boys" when she was alerted to a bunch of middle school boys were playing the choking game at a gathering in her basement.

Another friend knows parents who have the pre and post prom parties at their homes because they "know the kids are going to drink anyway, so at least they will be here, and we can supervise."

These are NOT clear limits of acceptable boundaries.

Just my thoughts.

The Word is Spreading...

2006-04-22T05:19:00.000-07:00

This has been a great week full of opportunity.

Earlier this week I taped an interview that will be aired over two Christian stations, one locally and one in Montrose, PA where I attended a writer's conference where I met the agent who took this project on.

We had been away over the Easter Holiday, and two invitations were waiting for me in a stack of mail that was otherwise mostly bills or invitations to sign up for more credit cards with lots of promises, inviting even more bills...

One was an invitation to a private lunch with Stephen Arterburn, from New Life Ministries in Harleysville, PA on the 4th of May, and the other was an invitation to a luncheon in Lancaster hosted by the Council on Drug and Alcohol Abuse.

I am really excited for the opportunity to meet Steve Arterburn, and hopeful that I can pass along copies of the book for him to give to Drs. Townsend and Cloud. I consider it a gift and an amazing opportunity.

Then, when I called to RSVP to the Council luncheon, it turns out that they are not having a keynote speaker, rather several testimonies, and I was invited to share. Amazing.

Yesterday my face graced the front page of our local newspaper (I looked old and tired...I guess I have been living in denial...) with a great story about today's event. The writer did a wonderful job of capturing the essence of my story, I was accurately quoted (that hasn't always happened in the past with other reporters) and it provided lots of exposure for the book launch.

It is a grey, dreary and rainy day, but I hope my message will bring some sunshine to someone's day.

Book Event

2006-04-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

Coming up this Saturday, April 22, from 11 am to 2 pm I will be hosting a book launching and signing event in conjunction with my friends from the House of Hope.

I am excited to bring our story to the community, and pray that it will bring hope and healing to other hurting families.

Radio News

2006-04-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

Several opportunities to talk about the lie of marijuana as a benign substance, our family's journey, and the book are starting to come about.

Tomorrow I will be taping an interview with WPGM in Danville, PA; on May 17 I will be taping a week's worth of segments on America's Keswick radio with Bill Welte, and on May 23rd I will be a return guest on "The Matter at Hand" on WGRC, Lewisburg, PA with Larry Wiedman.

Stay tuned!

Book News

2006-04-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

I will be posting information about media coverage here in the blog as opportunities develop. If you have a question you would like to have answered, please go ahead and jot it down as a comment to the post.

The book is here!

2006-04-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

The book is here! A fellow author commented that it is like giving birth without the "ouch".

It is an amazing feeling to hold one's book for the first time. For any of you that are aspiring authors and working on a project. DON'T GIVE UP. It was a long pregnancy and labor!

The first notions of writing a book were in the summer of 2002. I didn't have a proposal go out until January of 2004. And I did things a little bit backwards. I had most of my manuscript completed before I sent a proposal out. Then it disappeared into a black hole for several months...

The book found a home with AMG, where the proposal was accepted by Dan Penwell, their acquisitions editor, at the Glorieta Christian Writer's Conference. He took it to committee less than six weeks later, and it made it through committee in December of 2004.

The time since then has been the editing, printing and now distribution process. I have been told that now is when my work will really begin!

But it is a great feeling to hold one's book.

My prayer is that it brings hope and healing to many hurting parents.

The book has arrived at AMG!

2006-03-25T16:10:00.000-08:00

I just returned home from a couple of days in Charlottesville, VA where we attended some workshops at the Virginia Festival of the Book.

It was wonderful to see and hear the different authors discuss their books.

And then I checked the answering machine and learned that my books have arrived at the publisher and will be shipped out in the next couple of days! I can't imagine what it will feel like to hold my book for the first time and flip through the pages.

It has been like a very long pregnancy. But the wait is almost over.

Ministry Needs

2006-03-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

I want to invite you to visit my ministry site, www.tapestryministry.com. I am excited about the concept of weaving lives of new possibility. There are a lot of people out there who could use a lift to make life just a little better.

How can you help?
How can you contribute or make a difference?

First of all, BELIEVE that one person can make a difference. Your encouragement, your prayers, your listening ear can all make a difference to someone else, especially if they aren't used to being heard, listened to or encouraged.

Make sure you start in your own family.

I was guilty of not extending support or encouragement to Matt at times when he needed it. There were times I was so angry that my love became conditional. I hate to admit it, but if I am going to be honest, then that is the truth. Sometimes it seems like it is hardest to extend Christ's love and forgiveness to our own family members.

I am passionate about helping the disenfranshised and the underdog. There are so many blessing to us when we serve.

I want to invite you to read the "feature family" section on the ministry web site and respond if you feel so moved.

My week in review...

2006-03-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

I am chagrined to notice that it has been six days since I posted. I guess I succumbed to being a human doing rather than a human being...It was a busy week, but the time I have been home I have been spending with my girls...

So here is the week in review.

Last I posted, I was ruminating on the values of relationships, and that is part of why I haven't written as well, I have been focusing more of my time on person to person interaction.

I was waiting to hear about the outcome of bidding I had done on a foreclosure home for my friend Linda (see www.tapestryministry.com, feature family). I was the successful high bidder on the property for $48K at auction on 3/2. I heard last Wednesday that the seller, a bank, did not accept my offer. They countered with $79K. It was all I could do to not be rude to the poor intermediary on the phone but remarked that we were not even in the same conversation. Then later that afternoon I left to work in Cleveland, and went on to Prpotland, OR to work on Friday, and returned home yesterday.

Today was spent worshipping, enjoying a fellowship meal at church, hanging out with my girls, taking a walk with a friend and having dinner out with my husband, girls, oldest son and his girlfriend.

Then, I also received a call from Matt who is due to fly home from Switzerland tomorrow. He missed the last train from Milan to Geneva and I am helping him trouble shoot that situation.

If I could list a prayer reuqest here, it would be that Matt make it home safely tomorrow, so he doesn't miss anotehr day of class, and that I would find a suitable, affordable house for Linda.

Tomorrow I will tell you about my job.

Relationships

2006-03-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

Relationships.

That is my word of the day.

I went out for a walk this morning. It was beautiful, sunny, although still quite a bit colder than I really like it. I used my time to converse with God; to pray and to ask Him to sort through my thoughts and commitments, and the same word kept coming up over and over and over again: Relationships.

I value the verse from Philippians (4:6): "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Anxiety can get the better of me, especially when my plate seems to be overflowing: and a lot of people have been commenting to me lately how full my plate is.

Family, book release, Ministry activities,traveling Medical Scientific Advisor job, Celebrate Moms ministry, Extreme Diva happenings, and an upcoming trip to Honduras from 3/26-4/4. Not to mention two articles to write. Plus one dog, two cats, one bird, one rabbit and a fish tank, the house, laundry, etc. etc. etc.

So I could become overwhelmed with stuff. But Jesus promises that in him we will find rest for our souls. "Come to me, all you who are weary and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

Jesus cared about relationships. As a follower of Jesus I also should care about relationships and put my money where my mouth is so to speak. So instead of "worrying" about all the many tiered "to do" lists, I felt directed to foucs on relationships. It was as if God said to me, "Kathy, just care. Care about and love people in a way they will understand, and the other stuff will fall into place."

Relationships.

So I got home from my walk, and the devotional from our celebrate moms group was all about relationships. I listeed to the radio and there was an hour long program on relationships. I stopped by the House of Hope, a Ministry I serve with and the discussion revolved around relationships. Confirmation, if you ask me.

So, take a risk. Trust God. Focus on relationships and He will meet your needs and cross things off your to do list in a far more efficient and powerful manner than you could ever achieve on your own.

An Evening Prayer

2006-03-05T20:56:00.000-08:00

I realize it has been a few days since I wrote...So much has happened in these few short days.

A two part news interview; a two day work stint in Pittsburgh (more about the job I have and love later)a major ministry purchase: a house for one of my ministry families (see www.tapestryministry.com, feature families: Padula) and a full day of joy with the Lord and my girls.

So I just want to close with an evening prayer:

Gracious, loving heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for your love, mercy and grace. I am overwhelmed by your love for me. Help me to be still, so I can absorb the magnitude of your gift moment by moment. Your love for me is bigger than anything I can imagine and again I thank you for it. Help me to demonstrate even just a fraction of that love to others as I strive to serve here on earth as your hands and feet.

Thank you through Jesus, your son,
Amen

Clean and sober

2006-02-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

I knew the question was coming; it is inevitable. "How is Matt doing now?" "Is he clean and sober?" And then the follow up commentary, "Or is that off limits?"

These questions came up in my interview with WKOK yesterday, and I knew they would. I am sure they will every time.

And my answer? How can I be certain? What does clean and sober mean? Does it mean not a sip, not a whiff? Or does it mean communicative, doing well in school and living responsibly? But then you get in to the discussion of, what does living responsibly mean?

So my answer is, I can't know for sure what choices he makes. But I do know that anger, hostility, belligerence and outbursts are a thing of the past. I know that we end conversations telling each other "I love you." I know that when school (college) wasn't agreeing with him he made a decision to take some time off, realizing that to continue in that major in that setting would be a waste of his time and our tuition money. I know that he has returned to school to pursue taking courses in a major that appeals to him, Outdoor Adventure Leadership. (Doesn't that make you want to go back to school?)

SO my answers are, ask whatever you want, and I will give you an honest answer to the best of my ability.

Busy week

2006-02-26T16:52:00.000-08:00

This week will be a busy one, forging ahead with book publicity. Tomorrow I will be taping an interview with news radio WKOK. The news gang there has perceptively identified drug use and issues as a newsworthy topic in the Susquehanna Valley. They are doing an ongoing series of pieces about substance abuse and drug issues and how members of the community have and are responding to it.

I venture a guess that I am the only individual from this immediate area who has written a book in response to this issue.

As the publication date approaches, I will be actively involved in securing more media coverage through radio interviews, news features and book signing events.

I look forward to this new chapter in my journey.

Home from California

2006-02-25T12:50:00.000-08:00

I just spent time earlier this week at The Extreme Diva Writing Conference.

What an experience that was! It was GREAT!

Extreme Diva Media is a company owned by JeanAnn and Terry Duckworth, and the mission of the company is four pronged: To simplify life, to increase joy, to enhance relationships and to diminish stress. Now, who of us don't need those things?

I thought about how I could incorporate those components into presentations I do for moms of teens who have been seduced by drugs. These women are spent. They are exhausted, they have nothing but stress, and their joy is all dried up. So aside from the book bringing hope and healing, my mission is also to bring joy, or at least a little laughter back to these worn out women.

So incorporating the DIVA philosophy, when you come to hear me spur you on and re-fuel your hope tanks, expect to experience a little silliness also. Where is that inner child hiding? She wants to come out and play!

Frustrations in phone land

2006-02-17T16:53:00.000-08:00

I came to the conclusion a while ago that middle aged women and their twenty something year old sons don't belong under the same roof. Close proximity is fine, but under the same roof...Well, that's another story. Our older son lives in the same town as we do, (thankfully not under our roof) and Matt is away at Ithaca College.

But just because I prefer that they not be under my roof doesn't mean I don't want to stay in contact with them. Ah, the wonders of modern technology and shared family plan cell phone service.

Well, Chris is great about answering the phone or returning my calls when I leave a message. Matt, on the other hand is not so great. It must be something he inherited from his dad. My husband can be home-I know he is home- and won't answer the phone.

So when I am trying to reach Matt sometimes I need to call for over two weeks before I get a real voice, not the voice mail. It doesn't even seem to matter that money, or lack thereof, is involved...

That is where I am right now. Trying to reach him to no avail. I have left messages, hung up, (after all, how many missed calls from me does he need to see before he realizes that I really do want or need to talk to him?) emailed and now I am even going to resort to snail mail.

But I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Pre-occupied, snowboarding, socializing, sleeping, perhaps studying, but not really wanting to deal with a conversation with his mom. I might ask about how classes are, what his plans are for the summer, or any other number of things that remind him of growing up and being responsible.

I know I have caller ID and when I see it is my parents calling, I even groan and don't pick up from time to time...

So if any of you out there reading this talk to Matt, tell him his mom is trying to get a hold of him.